A leadership mantra I came across years ago encapsulates the essence of great leadership in three simple letters: CCC — Character, Competence, Courage. Character is the foundation. It's the invisible thread that holds leadership integrity together. Without it, everything crumbles.
Good character is the cornerstone of exceptional leadership, embodying traits like honesty, trustworthiness, self-discipline, self-awareness, empathy, respect, responsibility, modesty, fairness, and selflessness. These qualities are not just virtues; they are the foundation upon which trust, integrity, and lasting success are built. However, when leaders fail to uphold these principles, the ripple effects can be devastating. In this article, we will confront the warning signs of poor leadership character within organizations—red flags that, if ignored, can erode teams, derail progress, and undermine the very essence of what makes leadership meaningful.
Poor Leadership - Character - Leadership Environment & Stress
There’s a well-known saying: “People don’t quit jobs; they quit bad managers.” While this phrase holds truth, it often oversimplifies a deeper and more systemic issue in organizations. Human resource departments frequently zero in on first-line managers as the key to employee satisfaction, but this singular focus can miss a crucial point. Many employee frustrations stem from structural leadership problems crafted by higher-level executives—problems that are beyond the first-line manager's control.
What’s even more striking is that the burden of leadership often falls heaviest on first-line and middle managers. These individuals are not only the face of leadership to their teams but also the shock absorbers for the pressures from above. Despite being tasked with significant responsibility, they are frequently denied the authority to implement meaningful change—a dynamic that fosters immense stress and disempowerment.
Years ago, one organization sought to understand workplace stress after several executives experienced heart attacks. They assumed the top leadership would bear the highest stress levels, but the results were startling. The most stressed individuals weren’t the senior executives—they were the middle managers. These individuals bore the weight of responsibility but lacked the tools and authority to address systemic issues or enact the changes needed to alleviate their teams' challenges. This combination—responsibility without autonomy—is a recipe for chronic stress, disillusionment, and burnout and is the description of the roles and responsibilities of project managers and middle managers at many organizations.
A haunting glimpse into the destructive effects of stress emerges from a study that’s as unsettling as it is revealing. In this experiment, rats were subjected to the trauma of electrical shocks—a profoundly distressing ordeal. Some of these rats were then given an outlet for their stress: they were allowed to bite another rat. Alarmingly, researchers discovered that these rats experienced a measurable drop in cortisol, the body’s stress hormone, while those with no outlet remained trapped in heightened stress levels.
While aggression is clearly not the answer, the study also uncovered healthier ways to alleviate stress. Rats that were given a soft blanket to self-soothe showed similar cortisol reductions. Even more telling, rats that were warned with a light before the shock—introducing an element of predictability—handled the stress better.
The takeaway is profound: outlets, predictability, and a sense of control are powerful tools for managing stress. But these tools require balance. Too many warnings, for instance, can lead to anticipatory anxiety, amplifying stress instead of alleviating it.
This study offers a poignant reminder of the delicate interplay between our environment and emotional well-being. It challenges us to seek healthier ways to cope, cultivate predictability without overloading ourselves, and create environments where we can regain a sense of control, even amid life’s shocks.
This study starkly illustrates the destructive cycle of stress and harm. It reveals how, in the face of psychological pain, even animals can lash out to alleviate their own suffering—often at the expense of others. It's a sobering reminder of the profound and far-reaching consequences of unaddressed stress, both for those enduring it and those around them.
It’s not just about bad managers; it’s about broken systems. Organizations must recognize that the well-being of their first-line and middle managers isn’t just a “nice to have” but a critical factor in retaining employees, fostering innovation, and maintaining a healthy culture. Empowering these managers with the authority to drive change and aligning leadership structures with realistic expectations is the key to breaking this cycle. After all, when middle managers are supported, they can uplift their teams and transform workplaces from the ground up.
Poor Leadership - Character - Red Flags
Some leadership red flags that are driven by poor character are:
Leaders that don't care about people
Leaders who need to control everything
Leaders who are never wrong
Leaders who lack self-awareness
Leaders who do not give clear direction
Leaders who play the blame game
Leaders who are negatively emotionally reactive
Leaders who triangulate
Leaders that don't care about people
Not caring about people is the ultimate leadership killer. This can often be seen by leaders who approach people as only tools to complete their mission. In the end these leaders may have temporary success but in the end they will never be considered extraordinary leaders.
Leaders that want to control everything & Leaders who are never wrong
Control and leadership are often tangled together because a desire to "never be wrong" can become a form of control. This need to dominate can manifest through several red flags in a leader's behavior, signaling a struggle with insecurity and a lack of trust in their team.
One glaring red flag is when leaders default to saying "no" to everything—almost reflexively. It’s akin to a defiant toddler shouting "no" to assert control over a situation, even when it’s not in their best interest. While leaders must sometimes deny requests or ideas, when the refusal is instant, without thought or consideration, it becomes clear: this isn’t leadership; it’s control.
Another telltale sign emerges when leaders do listen to alternative viewpoints but respond unproductively. This can take the form of:
"You're wrong" – dismissing someone’s opinion as factually incorrect.
"You shouldn’t feel that way" – invalidating emotions or perspectives as flawed.
"Let me explain it to you" – shifting the focus to their perspective without engaging with the other person’s idea.
These responses shut down collaboration and undermine trust. A far more effective response is simple yet powerful: "I don’t see it the same way, but I want to understand your perspective." This statement invites dialogue, signals respect, and opens the door for empathetic listening—a cornerstone of strong leadership.
Empathetic listening & "Yes, and...!"
Empathetic listening isn’t easy, but it’s essential. It means not interrupting, paraphrasing to confirm understanding, and centering the conversation on the other person instead of oneself. This mindset creates an environment where ideas can flourish and collaboration thrives.
An unforgettable illustration of this principle comes from the world of improv comedy, where one rule reigns supreme: never “negate.” Negation happens when you shut down someone’s idea, denying the reality they’ve created. The classic example involves a performer saying, “Hey, look at that pink elephant!” only to have their partner respond, “What are you talking about? There’s no pink elephant!” In that moment, the magic dies—it’s a power play, a refusal to collaborate, and it crushes the chance for creativity to flourish.
Instead, great performers live by the “yes, and…” philosophy. They accept what their partner offers and build upon it, transforming simple setups into extraordinary, cohesive, and often hilarious stories. If someone rejects the narrative to force their own vision, the performance falls apart. But when everyone contributes and elevates each other’s ideas, the result becomes something greater than anyone imagined.
Leadership operates the same way. When leaders dismiss their team’s ideas to impose their own, they stifle creativity and fracture the process. But when leaders embrace the “yes, and…” approach—acknowledging and building on the contributions of others—they unlock the collective genius of the team. Together, they achieve outcomes that far exceed what any one person could accomplish alone. It’s not just about guiding a team; it’s about creating something extraordinary together.
In the end, great leadership is about fostering collaboration, not control. It’s about empowering teams to create something better together, where ideas are shared, refined, and celebrated. The best leaders recognize that the sum of a team’s ideas will always outshine the brightest star working alone.
Leaders who lack self-awareness
A profound lack of self-awareness is one of the most dangerous red flags in leadership. It’s a complex and multifaceted issue, but at its core, it reflects a leader’s inability; or unwillingness to see themselves and their actions clearly.
Consider the Dunning-Kruger effect, a cognitive bias where individuals with low ability in a given area overestimate their competence. It’s why the saying “The more you know, the more you realize how much you don’t know” rings true. Sadly, poor leaders often fall victim to this trap. They believe they’re excelling when, in reality, they’re failing to meet the needs of their teams.
This self-deception is compounded by several factors. Some leaders overestimate their abilities simply because of their title, equating positional power with competence. Others feel compelled to maintain a facade of omniscience, believing they must project an image of infallibility. Compounding the issue is the distortion of truth they experience; leaders often only hear what their teams think they want to hear. Fear of upsetting the leader or falling out of favor leads employees to filter their feedback, leaving leaders with a warped sense of reality.
Key Red Flags in Self-Unaware Leadership
Jekyll-and-Hyde Leadership - These leaders treat people differently based on their title or perceived status. Their behavior shifts depending on who’s watching, creating an environment of inconsistency and mistrust.
Work is “Beneath Them” - Leaders who believe certain tasks are beneath their station undermine the team’s respect. In organizations obsessed with hierarchy, this manifests as a rigid separation of duties where leaders fail to lead by example.
Double Standards - Leaders who demand quick results but take arbitrary delays in making decisions send a clear message: “My time is valuable, but yours isn’t!” Employees will work tirelessly to meet deadlines, but when they see leadership behaving this way, it erodes morale and fosters resentment.
Requesting Without Empathy - Leaders often underestimate the effort their requests require. A quick email or directive from a leader might take only minutes to write but could translate into hours—or even days—of painstaking work for their teams. When leaders fail to grasp this imbalance, they risk burning out their employees.
Self-aware leaders recognize that their actions ripple throughout the organization. They listen actively, acknowledge the realities of their teams, and adapt their behavior to inspire trust and respect. They understand that leadership is not about wielding authority; it’s about earning it through empathy, consistency, and humility. Leaders who lack self-awareness may achieve short-term results, but in the long run, they sow seeds of discontent and inefficiency, ultimately leading to failure.
Leaders who do not give clear direction
A lack of clear direction is one of the most frustrating and disheartening traits a leader can exhibit. It leaves employees floundering, unsure of their purpose, while the leader passively watches from the sidelines. This void of guidance often stems from various root causes: leaders who fail to take the time to communicate, leaders who lack the skill to convey their vision, leaders unable to empathize with their team, and leaders who, deep down, don’t even know the right direction themselves.
In some cases, leaders are too afraid to admit their own gaps in knowledge. To mask their insecurity, they provide vague or shifting directions, hoping their team’s efforts will somehow generate a plan. But this chaotic trial-and-error approach is disastrous. It squanders time, wastes energy, and leaves organizations spinning their wheels instead of achieving meaningful goals.
A common leadership pitfall is failing to step into the shoes of those executing the work. Some leaders mistakenly assume that their team will magically intuit their unspoken thoughts and expectations. While often unintentional, this oversight highlights a natural human tendency to view situations solely through one’s own lens.
A vital concept from the military, commander’s intent, offers a powerful remedy. This principle emphasizes providing a clear, overarching mission objective. When the commander’s intent is communicated effectively, teams have the clarity and autonomy to navigate challenges and adapt as needed. Even if detailed plans falter, the mission can succeed because the end goal is unmistakably understood. However, when the intent is vague or nonexistent, even the most dedicated efforts can veer off course, leading to results far removed from the leader’s vision.
Frequent feedback is another cornerstone of effective leadership direction. This is where agile leadership outperforms traditional waterfall approaches. Agile leadership thrives on regular updates, ensuring alignment and enabling timely course corrections. In contrast, the waterfall mindset—“Don’t come to me until it’s perfect”—creates bottlenecks and misaligned efforts. Teams spend excessive time crafting a “perfect” solution, only to discover it doesn’t match the leader’s expectations.
Waterfall leadership can also stem from egotism. Leaders who dismiss the importance of frequent feedback often view such interactions as beneath them, failing to recognize that humility and collaboration are essential to achieving shared success.
Strong leadership requires clarity, empathy, and adaptability. When leaders prioritize transparent communication, provide clear intent, and embrace agile feedback, they unlock the full potential of their teams. The result? A culture of trust, purpose, and unstoppable progress.
Leaders who play the blame game & negative emotional reactivity
Leaders who engage in the blame game can wreak havoc on team morale, cohesion, and trust. This toxic behavior undermines not only individual confidence but also the foundation of effective leadership itself.
Poor leaders focus excessively on perceived mistakes, often fixating on them instead of quickly offering constructive course corrections and moving forward. This unproductive dwelling stifles progress and demoralizes teams. Worse yet, these leaders act as "armchair quarterbacks," critiquing decisions and actions without ever stepping into their employees' shoes to understand the context of those choices.
Did the employee have clear guidance? Were they empowered to make effective decisions? A self-aware leader asks these critical questions. However, a blame-driven leader does not, instead fostering an atmosphere of criticism rather than support.
Few things are as destructive to morale and progress as leaders who manage through shame. Shame doesn’t just highlight a mistake; it personalizes it. The focus shifts from what happened to who did it, turning an issue into an attack on someone’s character.
Worse still, shame often assumes a flawed motive behind the action, framing the mistake as a reflection of a deeper defect in the person. It’s no longer about resolving the problem—it’s about making someone feel small, broken, or inadequate.
This approach poisons the workplace. It doesn’t fix the issue; it fractures trust and crushes the spirit of those involved. Employees subjected to shame-based leadership withdraw. They lose confidence, avoid risks, and stop innovating. Over time, the organization pays the price in high turnover, low engagement, and a culture of fear.
Contrast this with true accountability. Holding people accountable isn’t about pointing fingers or assigning blame; it’s about constructively bridging the gap between expectations and outcomes. It focuses on the behavior, not the person, fostering growth and improvement instead of resentment and insecurity.
Leadership isn’t about tearing people down; it’s about lifting them up. When we replace shame with accountability, we empower our teams to learn from mistakes, take risks, and strive for excellence. The result? A culture where people don’t just survive—they thrive.
Another major red flag is the frequent use of divisive language like "you" and "you're." This linguistic distancing creates a chasm between the leader and their team, subtly implying, “Your failures are yours alone, and I bear no responsibility.” Effective leaders, in contrast, view their team's challenges and successes as a shared responsibility, embracing a mindset of collective accountability.
The best leaders know that their role is not to assign blame but to cultivate solutions, empower growth, and lead with empathy. They recognize that mistakes are opportunities for learning, not weapons for punishment. By focusing on collaboration rather than criticism, leaders inspire loyalty, trust, and a culture of continuous improvement—qualities that separate exceptional teams from mediocre ones.
Leaders who triangulate
Management triangulation is a deeply manipulative tactic that erodes trust and morale within teams. Instead of addressing issues directly with the person involved, a leader chooses to discuss the matter with a third party. The goal? To gain leverage, influence perceptions, or create a negative view of the targeted individual—all through indirect communication. In simple terms, it’s "gossiping" disguised as leadership, and it’s both destructive and cowardly.
This behavior often manifests in subtle but damaging ways. A telltale red flag is when leaders surround themselves with a select group of "inner circle" confidants—individuals who become unwitting (or willing) enablers of this toxic dynamic. These so-called henchmen provide validation for the leader’s manipulations, perpetuating a culture of exclusion and mistrust.
Another insidious phenomenon tied to triangulation is what’s known as "we-bashing." Here, camaraderie is built by collectively criticizing or demeaning others. While it may foster a superficial sense of unity among the few participating, it ultimately sows division and weakens the organization as a whole. It’s a short-sighted and harmful way to build rapport that undermines long-term cohesion and collaboration.
True leadership requires courage, directness, and integrity. Leaders who resort to triangulation or "we-bashing" trade trust for temporary control, creating a toxic environment where openness and accountability cannot thrive. In contrast, the best leaders confront issues head-on, foster open communication, and ensure every voice is respected. By choosing transparency and fairness over manipulation, they build teams that are not only resilient but also unified in purpose.
Foundations of Successful Leadership and Teams
Great leadership and effective teams thrive on a few essential pillars:
Trust – Are you trustworthy? Can others rely on you? Equally, do you place trust in your team, allowing them to thrive?
Humility – True leaders never see any task as beneath them. Humility builds respect and camaraderie.
Accountability – Leadership demands owning your actions and holding others accountable in a supportive and constructive way.
Hope – In every challenge, a leader must inspire hope, fueling the belief that better days are always within reach.
Positive Antidotes to Negative Leadership Patterns
1.Care About People
See each individual as more than just their role. Ask yourself: Am I treating everyone with the respect and dignity they deserve? If not, course-correct immediately.
2.Foster a “Yes, And” Culture
Build on ideas rather than dismissing them. Collaboration isn’t just about agreeing—it’s about creating something better together.
3.Beware of Over-Control and Hypocrisy
Demanding urgency from your team while taking your time is not leadership—it’s double standards. Lead with integrity by aligning your actions with your expectations.
4.Value All Work
No task is beneath anyone. Hierarchies should never devalue contributions. Respect every role for its importance to the team’s success.
5.Show Genuine Appreciation
Acknowledge the efforts and challenges others face. It’s easy to delegate, but true leadership recognizes the effort behind every task.
6.Avoid “We Bashing”
Bonding through shared negativity—whether about other teams or individuals—may create a temporary connection but erodes trust and unity in the long run.
7.Clarify Intent
Ensure that everyone understands the broader purpose of their work. Clear intent aligns efforts and inspires purposeful action.
8.Focus on Growth, Not Mistakes
Avoid obsessing over errors or playing “Monday Morning Quarterback.” Use mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow, not to shame or punish.
9.Reject Leadership by Shame
Shaming creates resentment and erodes morale. Instead, uplift and empower through encouragement and support.
10.Take Ownership
Leadership isn’t about blame—it’s about stepping up, taking responsibility, and being a model of accountability for your team.
Control What You Can
Leadership isn’t always ideal, and sometimes, you may find yourself under poor leadership. While confronting negative situations can be empowering, not all battles are worth fighting.
When Change Isn’t Possible - If you find yourself working with leaders who refuse to grow, it’s okay to walk away. Sometimes, the best decision is to move on to a healthier environment where your positive impact can flourish.
When Moving On Isn’t an Option - Focus on what you can control. Take meaningful, positive actions within your sphere of influence. Be the leader you wish you had, even in difficult circumstances.
At the end of the day, leadership is about inspiring others, building trust, and creating a legacy of hope, accountability, and growth. Even in the face of adversity, your ability to lead with integrity can make all the difference.
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