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Leadership CCC 'Character, Competence, Courage' - Talk the Walk

brencronin

Updated: Feb 2

One of the most limiting beliefs we can hold is the idea that “I must feel confident before I can act confident.” This mindset traps countless capable individuals—those with strong character, high competence, and undeniable courage—on the sidelines because they don’t project confidence outwardly. Tragically, it’s often the reverse that lands others in leadership roles: individuals with poor character, questionable competence, and little courage rise to power simply because they exude confidence.


Confidence is more than just a feeling; it’s a skill—a message to the world that says, “You can trust me because I trust myself.” If you’ve ever struggled to project confidence, this guide offers actionable steps to help you lead with assurance, inspire others, and unlock your full potential.


A Vision of Confidence


Before diving in, take a moment for a simple yet profound exercise: Ask yourself, If I had all the confidence in the world, how would I act? What would I do?Hold onto that vision as we explore the building blocks of authentic and outward confidence.


1. Be Mindful


Confidence begins in the mind. A clear head and steady emotions lay the foundation for authentic self-assurance. Mindfulness helps you stay grounded, regulate your emotions, and avoid reacting impulsively to others’ negativity or doubt.


Mindfulness Exercise:


  • Open your eyes and focus on an object nearby.

  • Instead of labeling it (“a painting,” “a coffee cup”), describe its colors, textures, and shapes.

  • Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and recenter yourself.


This simple practice enhances present-moment awareness, preparing you to face challenges with clarity and poise.


2. Show You Care


True confidence shines when paired with compassion. Show genuine interest in others. Recognize the power of shared experiences—people connect more deeply over relatable, everyday stories than over extraordinary tales. When leading or presenting an idea:


  • Align your goals with others’ needs.

  • Use the “carrot and stick” approach: highlight benefits or potential drawbacks to inspire action.

  • Smile, maintain steady eye contact, and avoid defensive body language.


Confident leaders focus on the moment, read the room, and adapt their approach to engage and inspire others.


3. Stay Calm


Calmness under pressure exudes strength. Even when nervous, displaying calm reassures those around you that you can handle the situation. Avoid catastrophizing—don’t make situations worse in your head than they truly are.


  • Let emotions flow internally but diffuse them before they show outwardly.

  • Reframe escalating conflicts by asking state-breaking questions, designed to shift perspectives and ease tensions.


4. Master Communication


Confidence often hinges on how we communicate. The wrong words can undermine even the strongest leaders.


Avoid These Confidence-Killers:


  • “Does that make sense?” Instead, say, “Let me know if you’d like me to elaborate.”

  • “Maybe we should try…” Replace with, “I recommend…”

  • “I’m not positive, but…” Speak decisively: “Here’s my suggestion…”

  • “I just wanted to…” Remove “just”—it’s apologetic and unnecessary.


Confident Communication Tips:


  • Eliminate hedging words like “kind of,” “generally,” or “usually.”

  • Use present tense for credibility: “This works well” instead of “This worked well.”

  • Be mindful of your tone, especially in writing. Strike a balance between confident and approachable.


5. Speak with Authority


When speaking, your voice, body language, and delivery must command attention:


  • Use names to engage your audience and make them feel seen.

  • Incorporate stories and humor to connect emotionally.

  • Use purposeful gestures—don’t fidget or move aimlessly.

  • Avoid filler words like “uh” and “um”; pause instead.


Speaking Drill:


  • Speak a sentence normally, then repeat it with more vocal variety and expansive gestures.

  • Practice storytelling, focusing on each person for three seconds at a time.

  • Use the “SSS” technique: State, Support, Summarize. Tell them what you’ll say, back it up, and conclude decisively.


Your Confidence, Your Legacy


Remember, confidence isn’t about perfection—it’s about belief. Belief in your ability, your vision, and your unique contributions to the world. Confidence inspires trust, fosters connection, and transforms potential into reality.


Embrace the steps above, act as if you already have all the confidence in the world, and watch as the world starts to believe in you, too.

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